Wednesday, 22 November 2017
100 Word Challenge Week #11
Hey it's Quetzal here. When I was out for my
morning ritual when I saw a mysterious man standing by some trees. I was trying
to figure out who it was. I’m going back and will unmask this man. I got there
and I said ''howdy mate.'' He turned and looked at me. So I ran away but he
caught up to me and I was going 1mile per hour now that’s fast. I ran the other
way then I bumped into something and it read ‘’Man In Black.’’ That’s all it
said. I turned and he’s right beside me. It’s a lumberjack!
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Hello Mayamaze,
ReplyDeleteYou have used some interesting vocabulary e.g. 'ritual' and 'unmask', which helps paint a picture in your reader's mind. You started FOUR sentences with "I", and since this was the topic of today's lesson, I assume you did not learn the lesson. As we discussed, this is the last of the 'quetzal' stories, please. What is your morning ritual? You don't say. Do not start a sentence with 'so'; it is a conjunction or joining word, so you need to put a comma and put a period after 'away'. Keep on writing and improving.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Van